There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
