you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
