yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
