I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
