she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
