Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
