I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
