I just saw a hot homeless man
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
