i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
