They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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