I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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