i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize