Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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