your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
