bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
