Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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