His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize