Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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