ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
