I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
