...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
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