I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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