i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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