Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
