u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
