and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I want to be your penis for a week.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
