actually, I'm a sock model
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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