This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
