ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize