just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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