you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
