And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
