need another drink. this is the easiest way
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i wish my penis had a tongue
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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