im about as happy as oj after his trial
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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