he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
