Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize