ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
