using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize