Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
