I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
