i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize