you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You are a genius and a whore.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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