yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
