Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
