I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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