she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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