I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
