none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
