dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
MIDGETS
????
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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