I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
