For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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