His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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