why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
