the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Randomize
