so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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