Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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