every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
