Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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